YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
this hospital has no fireball
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
