So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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