9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
