Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
