just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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