I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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