I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
