you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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