i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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