i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
