take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
