We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
