I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
