She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
