Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
