Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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