I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
