yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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