There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
