His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
