We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
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Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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