I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The ass gains better be worth it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
