Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
