1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
