YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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