soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
