can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
