she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
