omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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