That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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