I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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