Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
