Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
