I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
