Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
