He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
