Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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