im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
