I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
