If i come over, it means nothing
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
