Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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