she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
