I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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