There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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