HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The feeling are messing with the penis
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
