You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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