He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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