I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
