Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
