I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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