My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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