I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
