Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
