I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
