People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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