I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
