Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
