cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
