Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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