Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
