She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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