im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
