We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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